17894

I have just found out I have lived for 17894 days!!! that's a lot of days huh? wonder how many have been better days?

if I have no ambition or anything that fastens then who else is to blame but me.

I was looking at 'life' meanings today... what different groups say/how they define... some things made me smile, like finding out that in ancient (a lot of days ago) Greece there was a group called 'cynic' (hence the name?) and they thought that the meaning of life...

'is living a life of Virtue that agrees with Nature. Happiness depends upon being self-sufficient and master of one's mental attitude; suffering is consequence of false judgments of value, which cause negative emotions and a concomitant vicious character.' ...

not so cynical? and then another group...

absurdism, there is a fundamental disharmony that arises out of the co-presence of man and the universe. Man has a desire for order, meaning, and purpose in life, but the universe is indifferent and meaningless; the Absurd arises out of this conflict.

As beings looking for hope in a meaningless world, Camus says that humans have three ways of resolving the dilemma.

• Suicide: The first solution to the dilemma is simply to end one's life. Camus rejects this choice as cowardly.

• Religious belief in a transcendent world: Such a belief would posit the existence of a realm that is beyond the Absurd, and, as such, has meaning. Camus calls this solution “philosophical suicide” and rejects it because it amounts to the destruction of reason, which in his view is as fatal as suicide of the body.

Accept the Absurd: According to Camus, this is the only real solution. It is to accept and even embrace the absurdity of life and to continue living. The Absurd is a crucial characteristic of the human condition, and the only true way to deal with this is bold acceptance of it. Life, according to Camus, can “be lived all the better if it has no meaning.”

That one is weird... living by accepting that there is no meaning... which in one way makes sense because any meaning we have is, by its very existence, our own and ever changing? and to ponder on a meaning (the?) can drive one mad.

It is Saturday evening here... I have work in a bit... a job that is the least 'me' defining role I could have envisaged but so that goes and then my volunteering thing tomorrow and then work for a few hours and then!!!!!!!!!!!! bank holiday monday glugness followed by MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! (day 17897 i think!!)... happy birthday to me happy birthday to me happy birthday to me eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee happy birthday to me!!! hip hip hooray!!... actually most birthdays in the last oooooooooooh well a long time have been spent feeling depressed, lost and lamenting the passing of the days YEARS!!!!

do you realize we're floating in space?

love and peaces x